Lack of concern and the silencing of abuse.
A man who always abused me:
During her 17 years of marriage, Seon-yeong (false name) who has worked as a nurse, also took care of her family-she also visited the women’s counseling office. She couldn't endure her husband’s verbal abuse. She diligently came and went in between her trips to the hospital and home. Although she did her best for her child and her husband, he was still verbally abusive to her, often cursing at her. She decided that enduring wasn’t the answer.
She felt nervous during her counseling, and had littler regard for herself and her work. She couldn’t concentrate on issues and had difficulty making forming judgments. Although her husband did not beat her up, he was still very abusive towards her.
There is a saying, “kill wife twice, other people live after being beaten up, why can't you live after hearing swear word?"
Emotional abuse is a big problem, just like physical abuse, and people and increasingly becoming aware of this. Case studies now show that emotional abuse is just as serious physical abuse. According to 'Hamby&Sugaman (1999), mental abuse has more of a negative effect on a person, more so that physical abuse. Straus&Sweet (1992) also reported that verbally attacking someone is the same as physically attacking someone.
In 2007, the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family implemented a domestic violence research on the conditions faced by abused women, and found that the men lacked compassion, refused to provide financial support and refused to take the women to the hospital.
However, even though people recognized emotional abuse as serious, the real symbol of victimization has always been 'a black eye, or a broken rib.’ But, opinions like Hamby&Sugaman (1999) showed that long-term continued emotional abuse was more harmful than physical abuse.
The manger at a domestic abuse victim shelter appealed to the law that industrial park does not support a divorce suit to women who were not physically abused. A woman came to the shelter; because she couldn’t her endure husband's emotional abuse. She decided to file for a divorce, but when she applied for free legal aid counseling, she heard that same saying, "The other people live after being beaten up, can't you live hearing the swear word?".
According to the grounds for the law abou Domestic violenc, verbal abuse is also considered domestic abuse, so it is possible to have free legal aid counseling
Of course, she was also a target of the free legal aid counseling. But you could see the her example which shows the prejudice executor ignores the victim’s pain.
Physical violence includes being ignored and forced sexual relationships.
A woman complained of the way her husband constantly bothered her, though she didn’t complain about being physically abused.
A husband can bother a wife in a variety of ways, by ignoring her, and not helping with the children and household chores. Husbands sometimes charge the wife of having an affair, and also isolate the wife from her family. He also demands sex.
If the wife does not work, the husband uses that issue as a way to control his wife.
Jihyeon who takes care of her home often hears her husband say to their children, "your mother is your stepmother.” The initial reason was because she had given her rice wrapped in laver. At that time, her child was late for school. She can't understand why he husband made that comment. When she complained about it, his response was, "talk high and mightily".
Jeong-eun also had trauma because of her husband's indirect abuse. In a middle of a fight her husband spit at her, will never forget the shame, and humiliation that she felt. After that situation, of course any sexual relationship with her husband became difficult for her.
Wives who complain of abuse by a husband didn't say "My husband heat me like this, they said their husbands killed them everyday.” The cumulative effects made wives die inside.
The wife’s confidence and self esteem is low of wife is so low, she is isolated from her neighborhood and family, she becomes similar to an outcast.
The most difficult thing a woman experience is living as a victim with her attacker. If they are strangers then ignorance and indifference is not a problem, but a couple who has a familiar relationship, continuing ignorance is enough to damage one’s dignity.
“Wait until you are beaten up"... the current situation of Korean Wives.
Physical abuse is a serious problem, if a woman is threatened once, she will live in fear, that one time will affect the woman emotionally for a long time.
The problem with society is that it only concentrates on physical abuse; everything else is seen as trivial.
December 10th last year, a woman called the police station and stated that her boy friend sent her a threatening message, so she couldn’t go home. The police said to her "if he kidnaps you or threatens you with knife, come at that time".
Ignorance, Indifference, Bothering, Cursing and Threats lack physical evidence, but holds an emotional scare a long time afterwards.
It may not be important to other people, but for couples, especially the wife, the abuse goes on for a long time even after a divorce. We need to get raid of the prejudice that only focuses on physical abuse as a form of abuse and ignoring the other issues.
Leave your greetings here.
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